<body><iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=26598723&amp;blogName=PernellGoodyear.com&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_FTP&amp;navbarType=BLUE&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pernellgoodyear.com%2F&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fblogsearch.google.com%2F" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div id="space-for-ie"></div>

"You are an embarrassment to your family, the Salvation Army and many others."

Thursday, April 12, 2007

I received this comment by an anonymous person recently on one of my blog posts, and I've been thinking about it quite a bit since. Here are some observations:
  • I really hate anonymous comments. I deleted two previous blogs partly due to my frustration with people's annoying, anonymous comments. If people aren't willing to identify themselves, what business do they have taking verbal [or written] jabs at me? I don't think anybody should write anything anywhere they aren't willing to attribute to themselves [unless they are quoting someone else, in which case they should attribute it to the author]. I may even delete anonymous comments from this blog from now on, because they really bug me... and that includes positive ones as well. I realize not everyone has a Blogger account and needs to log in as anonymous, but they can sign their name at the end of the comment.
  • I was also bugged by this comment because, judging by a couple of things they said, it would appear to be someone who knows me... maybe even a member of my family. Ouch. They still haven't identified themselves, and I don't expect that they will. But the fact that they would leave an anonymous comment like that... annoying to say the least. Have the decency to at least e-mail me a message like that for goodness sake.
  • I am an embarrassment. It's true. I even embarrass myself often. I cross the line. I go too far. I say stupid things. I am egotistical, rude, selfish, self-centered, overbearing, mean, and arrogant far more than I care to admit. The reality is, it is usually only when people I care about, and who I know care about me, point out my mistakes that I learn, grow, change, repent, apologize... or whatever else is necessary for me to correct the situation. If you don't care about me, don't think for a moment you can really have any impact on me in the long haul [this is a good reminder for me as a pastor when it comes to how I deal with others and their shortcomings]. And if you are leaving an anonymous, negative comment... you obviously don't care about me one iota.
  • I need to be far more careful with what I say and to whom I say it... "oh, be careful little mouth what you say..." That likely means that in some situations I likely can't "be myself". I wish this weren't the case, but sadly, I think it may well be.
Well, I probably won't blog again until after the weekend [by the way, I am really excited that Mark Jefferson is going to accompany me to the youth retreat at Muskoka Woods that I am speaking at this weekend].

Peace.

Labels: , , ,

  1. Blogger Steve said:

    Hey Pernell, disregard it. I removed the ability to anonymous comment on my blog because of a nasty anon comment left on mine last week. If the use of anonymity is being hurtful then it is unuseful.

    4:53 PM
  1. Blogger Darryl said:

    Pernell,

    That comment really sucks.

    Thanks for working through this type of thing honestly and for being real about who you are.

    4:56 PM
  1. Blogger Bill Kinnon said:

    I have a rule at my blog. You are welcome to argue that I am an idiot if you do it under your own name. If you want to hide behind Anonymous, then I'll feel free to delete your comments.

    A well known blogger once said, "think of my blog like my front porch" - discussions and arguments are welcome. Insult me, and I'll ask you to leave." (A paraphrase.)

    5:09 PM
  1. Blogger mike said:

    Pernell
    ignore any and all anonymous comments. the purpose of comments is to encourage or dialogue to debate the issues raised in a posting. hateful posts like the one you recieved should be deleted.
    hang in there... & keep walking in the way God has for you
    Mike

    5:47 PM
  1. Blogger Dave said:

    Hey Pernell,
    I can't speak for everyone but I think most would agree that we keep watch of your blog because the words you write challenge our thinking and inspire new actions. Your comment about being careful about what you say is always wise advice but don't stop being yourself. Just because one person happens to get real brave because they can post ridiculous comments behind an anonymous label shouldn't deprive the rest of us from hearing what the "real" Pernell has to say.

    Have a great weekend at Muskoka Woods!

    6:17 PM
  1. Blogger Tim Bailey said:

    I call anonymous critical comments "correctional pornography". They get all the excitment and pleasure of criticizing, without the responsibility of relationship.

    Anonymity is cowardice and is fed by insecurity.

    So there, Mr. Anonymous.

    7:37 PM
  1. Blogger Jason Dockeray said:

    My friend if you are an embarrassment to the Salvation Army I am ashamed to be a Salvationist. You are an inspiration and a great spiritual leader. I agree with watching what you say (I also struggle with Foot in mouth disease) but don't change who you are!

    10:52 PM
  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Good game!

    11:09 PM
  1. Blogger Margie said:

    As annoying as your embarrassments are... I love them. You challenge me to to think, grow, be my full potential, and a billion other things. Even with not agreeing with you all the time, I see the hundreds of people you have positively challenged, helped, supported, made think, and a billion other things.

    Thanks for being you.
    Thanks for being different.
    Thanks.

    11:53 PM
  1. Blogger Robbymac said:

    I'm honoured to know you, and have a great deal of respect for you. That time we had lunch together in Hamilton a couple of years ago (my, how times flies!) was a definite highlight for me.

    I always delete anonymous posts if they're of the flaming variety. I also expand that to deleting nuclear-fart comments from trolls when they are nasty and have nothing to do with the actual post I've written.

    I've had some very spirited discussions and debates on my blog, which I welcome, but anonymous flaming and nuclear trolls are not tolerated.

    Don't let the nay-sayers get you down. Like the rest of us, you ain't perfect yet, brother, but there's lots of us who like you and think the best of you.

    11:46 AM
  1. Blogger Makeesha said:

    I'm so sorry that someone did that to you :(

    we had someone in our church leave a pretty awful accusatory comment on our ministry blog once - - in an old post none the less. Instead of coming to us and talking face to face he chose to be a coward.

    I like what someone said to my husband recently, don't let the immature dictate your decisions. In other words, don't change just because one or two people behaving immaturely cause you to doubt yourself and change your behavior.

    I am grateful that you are who you are and that you bring all of you to the sacrificial table. It's an honor to call you a brother in the conversation. Shine on Pernell! Fight the good fight of faith and when you've done all you can do stand.

    12:30 PM
  1. Blogger JimmyForde said:

    take it as a compliment... you propagate and proclaim the ideas that Jesus put forth... You act them out in real ways, and you are pained by others who oversimplify the message of Jesus into tidy little boxes... and you do that while being a broken flawed person who does not hide those things... one persons embarrassment is my admiration!

    1:19 PM
  1. Blogger Dave Bond said:

    What we need more of is transparent, authentic people who by their willingness to show their true selves encourages and enables us to do the same.

    We no longer believe the myth that a leader is someone who has it all together. Rather it is a person who is as lost as we are. They are just willing to be the first to enter the mysterious beyond.

    2:07 PM
  1. Anonymous Mike Todd said:

    Dude - as an embarrassment of prodigious quality myself, I am and will always be in your corner.

    2:53 PM
  1. Anonymous Peter Goodyear said:

    I don't recall any butthole named "anonymous" at the family reunion. But if there's one thing I've learned in ministry, it's that buttholes always imagine they speak for the masses.

    Peter Goodyear
    (title holder of "the embarrassment to the family")

    4:58 PM
  1. Anonymous Miranda said:

    Unbelievable Pernell.

    Frankly i'm offended that you are trying to steal my title of SA emabarassment. hello!? did i not RUN into a wall and fracture my arm!? haha!

    seriously though, i agree with the comments here - i am upset that someone would write that and i hope you still continue to share your thoughts and challenge us. You are amazing!

    11:50 AM
  1. Blogger Howard said:

    Pernell,
    I came across your blog by chance and was shocked by what I read. I had a similar experience myself and it does dampen your enthousiasm. Quite frankly, if someone cant say who they are, they have no right to comment.

    Ignore them - better still, delete the comments. Even better still, wind them up even further by continuing to blog.

    The number of supportive comments you have already shows where mosts peoples opinions are.

    3:22 PM
  1. Blogger Pernell said:

    Thank you so much for all your kind comments [and e-mails], everybody. It is overwhelming to have so many people be so encouraging... especially since half of you I don;t even really know. I will not let this one comment get the better of me.

    4:04 PM
  1. Blogger Pastor Astor said:

    Hi Parnell!

    I'm proud of being able to call you brother!
    I'm happy for the salvation army having a guy like you around (I like what you write about your church, and I think belonging to the SA makes it even cooler).
    There will always be people who can't handle what is different, but in my book, different is good. At least different has a chance to find new ways. Sameness is dead.

    4:22 PM
  1. Blogger John said:

    Keep on keepin' on Pernellton!

    4:44 PM
  1. Anonymous Paul Goodyear said:

    Pernell:

    I've just read your blog ---- I'm ashamed to say that I am not normally a reader of your blog --- well, actually, it's not that I avoid your blog --- I just don't read blogs. No particular reason. I just don't.

    But hearing about the anonymous comments, I knew that the time for me to read and comment had long since passed.

    As I would have expected, your blogs are sometimes "out there", sometimes challenging and thought-provoking, sometimes outrageous, and sometimes off-the-wall hilarious, in-your-face, and always radical.

    But they are also always completely sincere and true to who you are and your passion for the Gospel, not just as theology, but as lifestyle. Your faith is not belief in a dogma, but absolute commitment to Jesus.

    I can't speak for the other members of our family, or
    The Salvation Army or anyone else. But to me, you are the epitome of what it means to be a real Christian, and far from being embarrassed by you, I am ever so proud to say that I am your brother.

    Not that your tattoos, earrings, and radical approach to living your faith aren't at the complete opposite of the spectrum from my ultra conservative beancounter-ish approach. Because they are . . . and I love the looks I get when someone who just realizes that we are related, stammers, "Pernell . . . he's your brother!!??!!"

    And I say, "yes", not only is he my brother, but despite the apparent dissimilarities of our lifestyles, I count him as a friend, and someone for whom I have the greatest respect.

    Don't ever change who you are, brother!

    Remember that the people who most misunderstood Jesus, the people who caused him the most difficulty in his ministry, and those who ultimately had him crucified, were religious people. Nothing's really changed in 2000 years, has it?

    Paul

    9:39 PM
  1. Blogger Margie said:

    I would like to thank all of you who have commented on this subject. I am overwhelmed witht the kindnes, love, and respect that you have for my husband.

    Thank you all for your encouragement, prayers and lifting of Pernell's spirits.

    Margie

    3:14 PM
  1. Blogger Jaci said:

    Did Paul's comment make anyone other than me cry?

    4:29 PM
  1. Anonymous theoldbill said:

    came pretty close, Jaci. I agree with the 'take it as a complement' stuff, Pernell - I've been an embarassment to my family for over half a century - you've hardly got started. And when you get older you get a real treat, being a major embarassment to your near-adult and early adult children. It's not just a privilege, it's a responsibility. Anything less and we screw up their differentiation [my wife is a social worker so i know words like that]....

    5:45 PM
  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Pernell, I am in your family and I love you and admire you and you do not embarrass me one bit. . . not now. . . not ever.

    You are one of the most straight forward, hard working, lovable, genuine people on this earth.

    I have a message for the weasel who commented on behalf of our family on your recent blog.

    Dear Anonymous coward. . . You posesses the poorest of judgement. . . .you offend me as well as all who are blessed call Pernell, family . . . I pray that your fingers rise up and refuse to type what you are asking them to, if ever again you feel so inclined to write such comments.

    P.S Word to the wise, your every keystroke is a fingerprint you are not anon.

    Press On,

    Kimberly D. Goodyear
    Sister in Law to Pernell

    10:20 PM
  1. Blogger by the bay said:

    Great to stumble across your blog - I honestly can't remember how I got here! Freeway sounds really interesting and creative, it's so encouraging to see.

    Warmest blessings from us here in Cornwall, UK.
    (I also don't allow anonymous comments and usually leave the comment facility off altogether. There's great IC/EC discussions going on on other blogs so there's better places for discussion than mine.)

    4:19 PM
  1. Anonymous Dave said:

    Hey dude,

    I know we're "moving on" from this subject and all, but I just wanted to say that I caught the VERY tail end of a segment on "Real Life" on CTS today (a really cool show......just kidding, I was channel surfing. haha) and they were apparently doing something on tattoos, and tattooed pastors. Anyway, they asked a question and asked people to email them with their response to it. This was mine:


    Hey there, This is in response to the question posed on today's show "if your pastor had tattoo's, would that change your level of trust in him/her, or change your perception of them as a Christian?" The fact that we are asking a question like that is what makes me not trust people, not something as insignificant to someone's faith as a simple tattoo is. I would trust a pastor (or anyone else for that matter) who came across as real, relevant, flawed, and passionate WAY more than I would someone who pretends to be perfect, righteous, above culture, or flawless. Especially with the things that matter to me, like my faith. Thanks for your time.

    I doubt it will make air. haha

    5:55 PM

Leave A Comment